My Word's Worth: a weekly column by Marylaine Block

vol. 4, #21, December 7, 1998

'TIS THE SEASON TO BUY FRUITCAKE

I ask you, do you EVER see anybody buy fruitcake (let alone eat the stuff) except in December? Do you ever even see it in stores except in December? Or for that matter, poinsettias or mistletoe?

Even though we can now get pretty much any kind of food we want at any time of year, we can still track the flow of the seasons in the grocery stores by observing the abundance and cheapness of various kinds of produce, and watching the displays. When it's time to deck the halls, boughs of holly will be available at your supermarket, as will Christmas trees, wreaths, wrapping paper, eggnog, fruit baskets, and unshelled nuts. The bakery will have Christmas cookies, the produce department will have bags of whole cranberries, and the freezers will be filled to overflowing with frozen turkeys. As a grim reminder that this joyous season is, after all, a cold one, scarves and mittens will be on display, and the hardware aisle will have a nice variety of furnace filters.

Displays of hams, sausages, cheeses, champagne, noisemakers, and Chex cereals for Chex Mix suggest that New Year's is upon us--followed hard upon by displays of Slim-Fast, Pepto-Bismol, light beer, diet books, and self-improvement books, commemorating both our New Year's resolutions and the pigging out we did since Thanksgiving.

Displays of taco chips and salsa, potato chips, pop, beer, and more Chex cereals, suggest the Super Bowl is imminent. When these are taken down, they are replaced by boxes of candy, cards, flowering plants and fresh bouquets for Valentine's Day.

The days between February 14 and Easter are hard on retailers--it's cold outside, it's flu season, and people are giving up stuff for Lent besides. But as it gets closer to Passover and Easter, displays of cold remedies give way to displays of matzoh, lox and gefilte fish (otherwise kind of hard to come by in stores in Iowa, I find), along with Easter lilies, coloring kits for Easter eggs, Easter baskets, jellybeans, and those little yellow marshmallow chicks.

May brings early strawberries, asparagus, bedding plants, as well as flowers and candy for Mother's Day. As May edges toward June, charcoal and charcoal lighter are featured prominently, along with bratwurst and hot dogs. Strawberries are now available in quantity, and blueberries and melons are just starting to appear. As it gets hotter, and school lets out, you'll start seeing things like water pistols on sale; if your grocery is a super-store, you will also see lawn chairs, Walkmans, tricycles and miniature swimming pools on display.

Displays of sparklers, American flags, watermelon, beer and charcoal briquets signal that our nation's birthday is approaching; the super-stores will also be doing a brisk business in fans and grills and air-conditioners. Outside the store you'll still see hanging planters and bedding plants. As we move into the dog days of August, stores fill up with lunchboxes and school supplies, while the superstores' shoe departments are doing their briskest business of the year fitting all those growing little feet.

As September begins, produce aisles are full of squash and pumpkins. Fresh d'Anjou pears return, along with every known form of apples: brand new crops of Jonathans and Granny Smiths and Red Romes, caramel apples and big jugs of apple cider. October brings a fresh crop of tangerines and grapefruit from Florida and California, as well as massive displays of candy--October to December is the high point of the sales year for candymakers. But you may also see big displays of books--these are the peak months for book sales as well, whether for presents or for whiling away long winter nights.

November brings displays of baking supplies--we like to believe a four day Thanksgiving weekend might actually give us time to bake nut breads and pumpkin pies. There are big displays of canned pumpkin, cranberry sauce and stuffing mix. The greeting card aisle now also features calendars and scented candles. And then the fruitcakes start to appear. But then, that's where we came in, wasn't it?

Burp.

NOTE: My thinking is always a work in progress. You could mentally insert all my columns in between these two sentences: "This is something I've been thinking about," and "Does this make any sense to you?" I welcome your thoughts. Please send your comments about these columns to: marylaine at netexpress.net. Since I've written a lot of these, some of them many years ago, help me out by telling me which column you're referring to.

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